Sunday, June 24, 2012

"Wow but when your not funny....."

Okay i'm pretty sure everyone has already seen this but I live in a media bubble.... oops
So I only saw it for the first time today and just had to share...

First off I don't think this "colbert" guy is funny to begin with. I've seen his previous shows and none of them were funny... He's obnoxious, just like conan.  I just can not fathom why people think he's funny......because he's not. He reminds me of a third grader who makes fun of other people to try and be popular. I don't find anything about making fun of other people funny. It's not like he attacked one person either, he made fun of an entire sport and its not like this sport was bikini mud wrestling. This is Dressage we're talking about.

However I think the USDF response was nothing short of amazing

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Show Names

Before you can pack your bags, before you can hitch up the trailer, before you can send your entries in for a show. You first have to navigate the perilous world of Show Names....

Show Names are the first impression a judge has of your horse. So for instance if you enter the ring accompanied by "and now entering the ring is Sally Spoilsherhorse riding My Dad's a Pleasure" The judge will probably not expect great things, and will probably be asking your dad some interesting questions.....
By the way 'My Dad's a Pleasure' is the name my friends horse came with. It was immediately changed.....

In the dressage world Show Names are usually short and sound more like actual names compared with lets say the hunter ring or western ring where names are generally longer and sound more like titles. For example 'Just for Fun' or 'Haute Couture' are typical of the Hunter/Jumper rings.

While western names are slightly different because the dam or sire's name is usually included in the name like 'Doc Olena' whose dam was 'Poco Lena' and sire was "Doc Bar'. In the western world names are generally simpler than say hunter/jumper or dressage names, you will see lots of horses with names like 'dash for cash'. They also use more abbreviations like 'Dash ta Fame'

Dressage names are generally shorter and sound more like actual names like "Doña Linda" or 'Revelle'. However not all names sound like names like 'Paragon' or 'Wizard' But when they are given to a horse they can become more like a "real" name.

But a show name should be carefully chosen because some associations make you pay big bucks to change a horse's name especially their registered name. So try to avoid these mistakes..... please?

The Too Long Name:
i.e. the announcer should be able to say your horses name without taking multiple breaths.
Names like 'Keep Your Eye on the Sparrow' or 'Abbeyliex Maid of Diamonds' are too long. I don't care how pretty they are.... its too long. Also don't try and cheat to get away with a long name by "forgetting" about your space bar like this name 'MissJBrunningforcash' NO!

The Obviously Named by a Male Names:
'My Dad's a Pleasure', 'BetterfromBehind', 'Bodacious Ta Ta's', and 'Shags Graceful' 
Do I need to say out loud why these are terrible?.......

The I Thought it was a Good Idea to let My Niece Name the Horse Names:
As much joy as it will bring your niece it is still a bad idea...' Ginger Ruffle Ginger Horse' and 'Flamingo Bingo' 

The Cringe Worthy Names:
These are names that make respectable show announcers cringe behind the microphone.
'Grey Bloody Buttocks', 'Nigger', 'Death Breath' sired by 'Dog Breath', and 'Fog Duckin'

The I Should have Bought the Bay Names:
These are people who either don't think much of their horses or clearly wish they had bought the other horse they were looking at....
'Ugly Eddie Z', 'Almost Alpo', and 'Son of a Bitch'

Dont make These Mistakes, Pick nice names.....

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

New Directions

Well as some of you know I did not exactly take england by storm..... We were delayed in Minneapolis and when they rebooked my flight I was not given a return ticket. Well no one informed me of that (poop on you Delta!) and when I got to customs and said "Hi! i'm staying for five months!" they immediately pulled me over and interrogated me, because unbeknownst to me they had already called Delta to see if I had a return ticket and when they said no the customs officer automatically thought I was trying to illegally immigrate. Well they let me stay for a week in London, but when we went back to Heathrow to leave they informed me for the first time that I had no return ticket. So all in all..... Delta, You suck.
So back in America I have not been wasting my time while waiting for a Visa and clearance into England. I have started giving lessons within my mom's teaching business and I have also been training two new horses, one of which is a broodmare that I'm convinced was abused at some point. Normal horses dont almost go over backwards when the rider is handed a whip. The other is a Welsh section D. And he is adorable but he is a very worried little horse! Everything with him is very slow and he needs lots of reassuring. Funny thing about him though is he likes to power through the aids and race off at trot but if you scratch his neck he will automatically slow down and put his head down. We were joking today that its his magical dressage button!