tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6417139838794825990.post4651093638083618311..comments2023-03-29T19:59:56.161-07:00Comments on Sincerely Paige: Horses, Depression, and an Impending Sense of Doom...Meridethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12265481044358677892noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6417139838794825990.post-17174036072621894992018-01-03T10:21:15.265-08:002018-01-03T10:21:15.265-08:00This post really hit home. Horses were my entire l...This post really hit home. Horses were my entire life, from the time my Grandfather gave me my first pony at age 9, up to the point where I had a baby while a junior in college with dreams to go to vet school and specialize in Equine Sports Medicine. Life has a funny way of going, and the things we think we want aren't always what we get. When I thought my life had ended and I had no idea what would happen next, I had to take one minute at a time. One breath at a time. I had no idea my life was just beginning. I was fortunate enough to be able to keep my beloved horses; I had 3 at the time and had no plans to get rid of them. I had graduated from Pony Club and was still working at an eventing barn and a separate dressage barn, and for 2 of the large animal vets in our area. I had so many plans that didn't involve raising a child. I took each breath and lived every minute the best I could up until my beautiful bouncing baby boy was born. I was 21. I changed my major to environmental science and finished school. I lived at home and did the best I could to find a little job. My best friend proposed to me when our son was almost 4. We married when I was 25 and he was 29. Somehow I managed to hang on to a pony or two, get an amazing job at one of the best global environmental engineering firms around, have 2 more children and an amazing husband. We bought 4 acres in the back of a neighborhood 14 years ago and we have a small barn, 4 ponies, 3 incredible children and a very nice life. I would have never imagined. Our oldest is now 21, a junior in college and a pre-vet major. I have been on Prozac, Zoloft and Lexapro. I am off those now and am focusing on my job at the engineering firm I have worked for for the past 18 years (which has just been bought by another engineering firm)...and I am just beginning to pursue my new dream of starting an equine-assisted therapy program. I was never diagnosed with clinical depression, but I have fought demons and severe anxiety all my life. I am 43. There have been times where I have not been able to function, but somehow I kept breathing, taking one breath and one minute at a time. Horses are my drug. They are what have kept me going all these years. I competed, but never at a very high level. I had those dreams to go to the Olympics, but I had a problem with commitment - I just couldn't make myself commit to that level of riding and dedication. Plus, I loved my little backyard ponies too much to rehome them to get anything with potential to ride at that level. Life has a funny way of going. I am sorry for writing a book, but please know you are not alone. Please keep fighting. Take one breath at a time and one minute at a time. You are an amazing young lady and an amazing young rider. Hug your sweet horses and your Mom. They need you as much as you need them. Your life is just beginning and you have so many wonderful things in store for you. Don't let the depression win. Huge hugs to you. buckponyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11856143564768689766noreply@blogger.com